Looking for Men???
I hear tell that some women choose to ignore the chats because they think it is nicer than saying no thanks. I think a man prefers to know. The chat thing is rather unreliable so a guy may try to give the girl the benefit of the doubt a couple of times in case the first one didn't work.
This chat server lacks in that it needs a way to indicate that you are already chatting. The further fault is that a new chat hijacks the cursor from the one you are already in so lo and behold you are suddenly typing half a sentence to a new person. When already in a chat it is best to stop the first and say to the new chat..."sorry I'm busy chatting". I have made some good friends through just chatting. Only 1 in 5 ladies bother to reply. I agree Cossie, time of day affects the MF ratio ;) ...made that term up.
Wow Kendal, you've done a lot of chatting by the sounds of your experience and had time to post on the boards as well! ...and write on another forum you mentioned. You've been a busy beaver......when on earth do you get in flying time, lol?!! You have a good point there though, guilty as charged, I don't like rejecting men and the chat thing is so damn slow. I just don't like it and I really thank Marg for instructing me on how to disable chat. Now how do we move the guys from chatting to posting, Mark and others?
That's a little unfair Cate - why should the guys have to be the ones to bend to women's likes? We could just as easily say, how can we get the women to move to chatting! Or we could each realise that if we want to meet people on here, we may have to do things we don't really like. So the men could post more on the boards, and the women could chatt more.....
I don't mind chatting myself. The only thing I would say by way of advice to some of the men is, have something in mind you would like to chatt about when you start a conversation with a woman. Think about who it is you're chatting to (you can look at her page for an intro) ask her about something related to her life that interests you. It's kind of difficult to get a converstion going when you have nothing much to say. I'm not trying to have a go at anyone, just sharing how things are sometimes from my end of things. It may make chatt more enjoyable for the women - who knows?!
Hannah, we're discussing ways of getting more men to use the boards. Mark commented that according to his observations, the reverse is happening with chat i.e. more men than women chatting, hence my light-hearted comment to move over the men. I find your input always interesting and often fascinating, yet your tone sometimes comes across as angry. I can understand this if you're very passionate about biblical rights and wrongs but in this instance, this isn't about christianity and each is entitled to express their preferences without being judged unfair in my opinion. As christians, we have enough rules to contend with without having to confrom to having no individuality with identical tastes, preferences and interests as each other, in my opinion.
This is not a comment of you by any means Hannah, but I find regularly that a discussion on the boards may be spiritually enlightening and emotionally uplifting and then someone comes along with a negative comment usually because he or she is going through a difficult time and it makes me feel depressed. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I'm wondering whether there are men and women who couldn't be bothered using the boards because they don't feel uplifted by the messages. The argument may be that this is life or maybe I have outgrown the boards but happiness is my aim and unless there is need for biblical correction as in a theological debate or discussion, I feel bummed out by the christians who continually offload their negative outlook on the boards. I want to surround myself with postive people who are filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit and love life and God not around those holding bitter resentment for their exes and unhappiness about where their life choices have landed them. Is that so bad or impossible a desire....to want people to reflect the love and joy of God. It is so uplifting for my soul and inner being. Must I wait for heaven or is it possible to share the joy of God in my heart with like-minded/hearted people on earth?
Wow, looks like I stirred up an ants nest with a very innocent and light hearted comment.
So... it’s unfair for me to say that something is a little unfair? That seems a bit unfair to me! (Please see the twinkle in my eye and the smile on my face as I say this : )
I really can’t see the connection to ‘Biblical rights and wrongs’, I never mentioned them in this discussion. (Please see the look on my face that says ‘huh? What the?)
I am not against anyone else sharing their opinion. I am simply stating mine. I thought that was probably allowed... even the idea on these boards. (Please correct me if I am wrong....)
Just to be clear (hopefully!!!), the issue as I see it is that men like to chat and women like to post on the boards. Of course the women would like the men to be more active in the discussions – we’d all love to hear what they have to say. And of course the men would like the women to be more responsive to chat, as it seems they prefer that mode of communication for getting to know someone.
So hey, I was simply saying we could each make allowances for the opposite sex – we could each step out of our comfort zone and engage in communication the other person’s way. It’s just a suggestion. It’s just my opinion. Please ignore it if you don’t like it.
My comment about unfairness is simply that I think it’s unfair for women to say ‘we don’t like/are not going to chat, so we need to get the men to talk on the boards’, just as I think it would be unfair for the men to say ‘we don’t like/are not going to participate on the boards, so we need to get the women to engage in chat’. I didn’t think that was such a bizarre or outrageous opinion.
For the record, I think it’s great to see more men on the boards lately, and I’d love to encourage even more of them to participate. (And I do think the women could be a little more careful about not scaring them away).
Also, just to let you know, I have not been angry in any of my posts – sorry if I come across that way, I really don’t understand where that emotion is being seen. It is part of the never ending struggle of communicating through type only – we can never see the face or hear the tone of the speaker. If anyone would like to talk about this further, I really would like to understand how I am being seen as angry. Please send a private message, that seems to be the most appropriate thing to me.
(ok, I expressed a passionate opinion about abortion, and I do get angry at the deaths of so many innocent children. I won’t excuse this passion, I believe it’s justified).
Ok Ladies, i have noticed when im online that there are usually way more men that women online, i click on the chat window and im surprised to see way more guys than girls.
The discussions on the forums are that men arent posting very often, and where are they, well i dont know why they arent posting but they are certainly online... Chat tag bottom left, i often forget its even there.
Example...right now there is 12 people online... 8 men 4 women.
Blessings to all....Mark